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It could be out of either envy or obsession caused by self-suppression.
Because they can’t openly express their own sexual problems or desires, they meddle in other people’s lives and probably live vicariously through them.
The consequences of this conservative view of sex are dire—for both men and women.
Growing up, men believe that women are sacred prizes to firstly win, marry, bed, and then—as sexual freedom is not encouraged and many men and women from more conservative families will sleep with no one before they get married—cheat on.
One thing I have wanted to write about for a while in this column is the view of sex and dating in Turkey.
I have watched (mostly) foreign and (some) Turkish friends grapple with dating and all its highs and—more often—lows, and have become endlessly fascinated with the subject.
Under President Erdoğan’s leadership (whose party AKP has held government for 12 years), the conservatives have become more powerful and visible than ever before, and use sexual politics as one of the most important tools to control society.
On September 15, Ismail Akkiraz, the vice chairman of the über-conservative Saadet Party, told a crowd during a speech that, “due to the AKP’s inadequate policies, our youth do not know how to practice ablution, and 60% go around [not showering after sex].” A few weeks later, on October 1, Selman Ada, the new manager of the Turkish State Opera and Ballet, said that employees (besides the ballet dancers) can no longer wear “athletic wear, tight cotton shorts, tights, stretch jeans, sandals, slippers, spiked high heels, formal evening gowns” to work.
Sex is seen as something that should happen between a husband and wife, and practiced according to the teachings of Islam.Men see women as possessions and as many women grow up being treated like princesses, they develop unrealistic expectations of men.And as women are told that ‘sleeping around’ is sinful, they either don’t do it, do it in secret, or shame women who are more sexually liberal than them.A Turkish male friend once told me that one night stands are not really a thing, and especially not for women (no big surprise there).Another Turkish male friend told me that although men and women can be friends, growing up in large mixed-sex friendships groups is a lot less common than in other parts of the world.
He also told me that if a girl and a boy are friends, pretty soon one of them will develop a romantic interest in the other.